This is an article I’ve put together to guide people who are looking for tools to improve their relationships. “Communication Issues” is the number one thing I hear when people come in for couples counseling. Couples experience discussions or arguments that seem to have no conclusion; the unwinnable argument. Both partners feel like they aren’t being understood emotions run high. The Gottman material here was written by John and Julie Gottman and is based on years of solid research into what does or doesn’t lead to a healthy relationship.
These concepts are essentially an outline of what we would be discussing in couples therapy. In person therapy is great for fine tuning and understanding how to implement these ideas but these ideas are a good start in themselves.
These are listed from most general to more specific. Just click any of the images to link the the book on Amazon. I get a small commission when you purchase using these links.
The Relationship Cure
The relationship cure is a basic self help guide designed to get the most important points across to people who aren’t professional marriage therapists. It’s a great way to get to the point and get the skills needed to start things getting better.
The Man’s Guide to Women
The man’s guide to women is of course written from a man’s perspective. So it’s the same key concepts and based on the same research, but the key points and the examples are more tailored to the typical dynamic of how men view relationships.
Eight Dates
Eight Dates is a good one for guiding some topics of discussion that couples can work through together. This is the one if you want something that you will both read together and discuss on “date night.”
5 Love Languages by Chapman
This last one is from a different author, Gary Chapman. The concept of love languages is one I’m often sharing with clients to help them relate more effectively. This book has some quizzes to help you figure out what your love language is.
